If things were different
by Person-without-a-FF.N-account
Summary: What if the Master was there? On Platform One? On the Byzantium? In Pompeii? Helping or hindering the Doctor, depending on his mood, the Master's a companion now. Companions are cool. This is my favourite type of AU!
1. Salt and Shock

A/N: This is basically a load of scenes from Doctor Who in which I take out random characters (usually the companions) and replace them with our esteemed Lord and Master =D.

I don't have a lot of them written already, so the updates will probably take a while, depending on weather I have good ideas/am in the mood to write them.

ANYWAY. Chapter one: Salt and Shock

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><p>"SALT! I NEED SOMETHING SALTY!"<p>

"What about this?" the Master slid a brown bag across the countertop.

"What is it?"

"...Salt?"

"THAT'S TOO SALTY!"

"Salt is _too _salty, is it?"

"What about this?" Agatha pushed past with a jar, the contents of which the Doctor quickly consumed.

"What's that?" the Master asked.

"Anchovies!" Agatha replied.

"What else?" smirked the Master, clearly enjoying the whole thing.

The Doctor, still digesting the anchovies and unable to talk, opened and closed his fingers as if miming an explosion.

"Ooh! I get it! You want me to blow the place up?"

The other Time Lord nearly rolled his eyes, but the poisoning seemed to be getting worse, and after a large swallow he finally yelled, "IT'S A SHOCK! BIG SHOCK, I NEED A SHOCK!"

The Master thought about this. What could he say to surprise the Doctor?

"DOCTOR!"

"WHAT?"

"I destroyed your secret supply of bananas."

"THAT'S NOT SURPRISING YOU - ARGHH - YOU DO THAT ALL THE TIME!"

"Right. How about this?" he smacked the Doctor across the face. It didn't work, although Agatha looked startled.

"Surely that was shocking enough? _I _would certainly find it unsettling if a good friend struck me."

"I'm not his friend! I'm his..." he struggled for the right word.

"Acquaintance?" asked Agatha.

"No."

"Servant?"

"NO."

"Companion?"

"YES. Although I suppose you might say arch-enemy."

"Such strange people, that travel together despite being rivals."

"I _know!_ It was his idea!"

"WHEN YOU'RE QUITE FINISHED, I'M SUFFERING OVER HERE!" the Doctor yelled between gasps.

"_Terribly _sorry, Doctor. Big shock, coming up."

Then, ignoring 900+ years of fighting and feuding, the Master proceeded to hug his worst enemy and best friend, drawing back quickly when the Doctor started breathing grey smoke.

"AHH! Detox! I must do that more often!"

The Master raised an eyebrow.

"I mean the - uhh, the detox..."

"Doctor, you are _impossible_!" gasped Agatha, "_Who are you_?"

The Doctor winked at her and ran out of the kitchen.


	2. Smith, Saxon & Jones

"BO-SKO-FO-DO-NO-KRO-BLO-KRO-SHO-RO." the Judoon bellowed.

All the other Judoon levelled their weapons.

"You're arming yourself against _these _stunted little monkeys?" the Master almost snorted, "There's no need, Judoon. I tell you, one firecracker goes off and they'll be screaming like it's the end of the planet."

The Judoon turned to the Master, then advanced, pushing him into the wall and holding him there.

"TO-MO-GRO-SO-LO-NO-KRO-FO-DO." it thundered.

"Well I like that! I order you to release me under section 92 point delta five of the Shadow Proclamation!"

"GO-SKO-BLO-SO-RO-MO-KO-BO-HO!" the Judoon seemed to be getting irritated now.

"Ah, but under 92 point delta _six_, the galactic law states that -"

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><p>From the balcony, the Doctor watched as his fellow Time Lord had a legal argument with the Judoon captain.<p>

"He talks like you." Martha remarked, "Is he a friend of yours?"

"Yeah - well, no. Well, uh, sort of. Anyway - aww, look down there, you've got a little shop! I like a little shop!"

"Never mind that! What're Judoon?"

"They're like police. Well -"

"NO-BRO-LO-SKO-DO-SHO-BLO-KRO-FO-BO!" the Judoon interrupted him.

"Look," the Master said, "Just do us a favour and assimilate English, there aren't enough words in your language for me to argue my point properly."

"SNO-ZO-YO-WO-QUO-JO-VRO-KLO!"

"Well, they're all very fine and fancy, but do you have a word for 'three-inch fool'?"

"GO-BLO-NO-SKO-RO-HO-BO-SKO."

"No, didn't think so."

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><p>AN: 'Three-inch fool' is a Shakespearian insult meaning someone is stupid, OR something rather rude which I shall not mention ^_^.

In the original, the Judoon threw the Master across the room or some such thing, and the Doctor started another legal argument, but it was a bit long and didn't really work, so I shortened it =D Here's the 'deleted scene' if you like:

"YOU ARE OBSTRUCTING THE OPERATION." roared the Judoon.

It then flung the Master across the room, leaving the Time Lord lying slumped against the opposite wall, unconscious.

"AH AH AH AH AH!" the Doctor protested, running up the stairs and confronting the captain, "Dreadfully kind of you to get him out of my way for a bit, but I'm afraid you're violating sections 10 and 6 of the fourth order of the Time Lords by bodily injuring a Gallifreyan individual."

The Judoon blinked at him, then proclaimed, "THE ORDER OF THE TIME LORDS IS NO LONGER VALID. ACCORDING TO THE RECORDS, LESS THAN THREE BEINGS REMAIN OF THE SPECIES."

I couldn't really be bothered to carry it on. Also, it was getting too dramatic and so forth... OH AND, sections 10 and 6 =D, get it? 10th Doctor and 6th Master =3


	3. A Clone of my own

A/N: Right, I've made a little change to the idea of the story. Instead of the Master replacing the various companions, he's going to be there as well as them, as he's been in the past two chapters. Also, to explain timelines and st00f, my sister and I have come up with an AWESOME backstory explaining how the Master can be in series 1/2/3. This is at the bottom of the chapter if you'd care to read on. It's very, VERY long, but I suppose it makes up for the short chapter.

Doctor Who is copyrighted to the BBC and I do not own it.

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><p>"In your mind, you've got so many plans. There's so much that you want to do!" the clone Martha said.<p>

"And I will!" Martha smiled, "Never do tomorrow what you could do today, my mum says. 'Cause -"

"'Cause you never know how long you've got. Martha Jones! All that life..."

"How sweet. I might keep her."

Martha jumped, then scowled at the Master.

"Keep a dead clone of me? That's sick."

"A little, yes, but all in the name of science."

"NOW!" yelled the Doctor. He soniced the teleporter, and a rather staggered Donna Noble materialised inside.

"Oh!" she gasped, "I never told you how much I hate you!"

"Lovely..." the Master commented as the redhead embraced the Doctor, "And do I get a hug?"

Donna stiffened and stared daggers at him for a moment, then laughed and threw her arms around him.

"'Course you do, misery-guts!"

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><p>AN: I always seem to do VERY short chapters for two-parters. I've done one for 'The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances' and it was even shorter than this, more of a drabble really. ANYWAY, sorry about the short chapter, and any episodes you particularly like, just PM me and I'll see what I can do about including them in the story ^_^

RIGHT. NOW.

EPIC BACKSTORY OF EPIC:

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><p>At the end of 'Doctor Who - the Movie', Grace changes her mind and travels with the 8th Doctor. They have a few adventures, then stumble into the Time War, where the Doctor regenerates into 9. Grace sticks with him, then UtopiaSound of Drums/Last of the Time Lords takes place, with the 9th Doctor instead of the 10th. Grace replacing Martha, and Tom Milligan (who they meet in that episode for some reason) replacing Jack and dying heroically to save them.

The Master is shot by Lucy Saxon and dies, time is rewinded etc. etc., Grace and the Doctor go and find now-alive Tom Milligan, who doesn't remember them. They return Tom's memory to him, they all go off in the TARDIS, but end up in the End of Time.

Everything proceeds for most of EOT as it did in canon, except with 9 instead of 10, and Grace and Tom following him around. Oh, and no Wilf.

In the finale, while the Doctor is having his epic to-do with Rassilon and the Master and the gun and so forth, nobody notices the scientist in the booth, so the radiation floods and whoever goes in to save him will die. Grace gets sucked into the Time Lock with the Time Lords, instead of the Master, and while the Doctor and the Master are unconscious after the big BOOM, Tom goes and saves the scientist, dying in the process.

The Doctor and the Master wake up, the Doctor blames the loss of Tom and Grace on the Master, but takes him as a companion anyway.

The Doctor and the Master go on an adventure, and the Master does something very evil, and the Doctor's all: "Right, that's the last straw.", hands the Master over to the Judoon, and leaves him.

While the Doctor goes on to the episode 'Rose' (all proceeding as in canon), the Master is locked in a high-security prison block.

Two years prior to this, Jack Harkness does something illegal which gets him in trouble with the Judoon, and argues his case for two years until he realises he's losing. He then blows up the prison block containing the Master, hoping to slip away while the Judoon are distracted by the explosion.

The Time Agency discover Jack and wipe the two years from his memory (I'm not sure if this two-years-of-memory thing has been explained in DW/TW [I don't watch Torchwood], but IT'S A FANFICTION. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. ^_^), the Master manages to escape, stealing some Time-Travelling technology which gets attracted by the TARDIS, landing him on Platform One with the Doctor and Rose. After helping them with the whole thing, the Master is finally taken on as a companion by the Doctor.

Upshot of all this: The Master travels with the Doctor and his companions all the way from 'The End of the World' to 'The Wedding of River Song' and beyond! As for chapter 1 of this fic not including Donna, let's just say she was upstairs at the time.

As for the spaces in series 3/series 4 specials where EOT/SOD/LOTTL were, I'll leave you to make up some other finales to take their places ^_^


	4. Fish in the fog

A/N: Merry christmas, everyone! =D Hope you had a spiffing day and so forth ^_^

"I've never seen anybody stand up to Mr. Sardick like that!" exclaimed the man, shaking the Doctor's hand warmly, "Bless you both, sirs! And merry christmas!"

"Merry christmas, now hush, he's busy." the Master said, continuing his attempts to adjust the Doctor's makeshift phone while aforementioned Time Lord was still talking through it.

"You'd both better get inside!" continued the man, paying no attention to the Master's rude manner, "The fog's thick tonight, and there's a fish warning!"

"All right, yeah -" the Doctor then processed this for a second.

"Sorry - _fish_?"

"Yeah, you know what they're like when they get a bit hungry?"

"Yes, fish, I know, fish. _Fish_?" the Master sniggered while the Doctor gesticulated as if saying the word 'fish' along with different hand motions would give it another meaning.

"It's all Mr. Sardick's fault, I reckon. He always lets a few fish through the cloud layer when he's in a bad mood. Thank you, bless you once again, gentlemen!" the man strapped on his goggles, shook both their hands and plodded off, leaving the confused Time Lords standing in the square.

"...Fish...?" the Doctor repeated.

"Evidently."

"_Fish?"_

"Yes, you know, the water-dwelling animals that you have to thank for your precious fish fingers?"

"Doctor," said Amy over the phone, "The captain says we've got less than an hour, what should we be doing?"

"Fish..." the Doctor repeated again.

"Sorry, what?"

"Fish that can swim in fog..." the Doctor stared at the little shimmering creatures, darting around the steet lamp. "I love new planets..."

"Doctor, don't get distracted!" the Master tried to pull his fellow Time Lord away from the fish, but of course it was no use.

"Now why would people be frightened of you tiny little fellows, look at you sweet little fishy-wishys!" cooed the Doctor as the little creatures nibbled his fingers.

"Oh for -" the Master rolled his eyes and grabbed the phone.

"Hello? What's going on? Doctor?"

"Amy, it's me. The Doctor's going all gooey-eyed over some flying fish, I don't think he's going to be much help."

"Some _what_?"

"Fish. Flying. Well, they're not really flying, swimming in the fog. Quite interesting, but there are better things to do."


	5. New Earth

A/N: Here we go! Rose, as promised ^_^ I'm sorry I didn't do more of Cassandra!Master but it was quite difficult to write that.

"Now what do we do?" Cassandra demanded through the Doctor's mouth.

"Use the sonic screwdriver!" Rose called up.

"You mean this thing?" Cassandra held the tool up as though it were a particularly nasty-looking slug.

"Yes, I mean _that thing_!"

"I don't know how!" He/she protested, "That Doctor's hidden away all his thoughts!"

"Slide the dial up two and a half inches, press the top button, think about bananas!" the Master explained quickly from underneath Rose.

"What a frightfully ridiculous way to open a door." Cassandra muttered, fiddling with the screwdriver.

"I agree! He sets all the psychic controls as fruit!" the Master rolled his eyes.

"He's rather fond of senseless things like that, isn't he?"

"Oh yes, absolutely."

"I'm sure," interrupted Rose, "That you two will be very happy together, but I don't think now's the best time!"

"The screwdriver won't work!" Cassandra declared, whacking the tip of it against one of the ladder rungs.

"Don't do that! Give it here!" Demanded the Master, holding out his hand.

"No fear! I've been in your body, butterfingers! We'll never see it again if I drop it!"

"Cassandra, go back into me!" Rose said, "We need the Doctor!"

Cassandra sighed. "Hold on tight."

The pale pink light seemed to pour out of the Doctor's mouth, then flew down and into Rose's.

"Oh, chavtastic again." grumbled the now-Cassandra Rose, "OPEN IT!"

"Not 'till you get out of her." the Doctor leaned dangerously off the ladder, aiming his sonic screwdriver at the blonde girl below him.

"Doctor, just open the door!" the Master glanced worriedly down at the contagious clones advancing up the ladder.

"I ORDER YOU TO LEAVE HER!" the Doctor yelled, ignoring his fellow Time Lord and glaring at Cassandra.

Cassandra did so, once again forming a pink mass of energy, which flew up and into the Doctor again.

"No matter _how _difficult the situation, there is no need to shout!" Cassandra stated, once more inhabiting the Doctor.

"Cassandra, get OUT OF HIM!" Rose demanded.

"But if I go into you, he simply refuses, he's so rude!"

"I tried telling him, but he's completely besotted with you." The Master informed Rose, "I'd have thought saving you and Cassandra in the same body would be better than us all dying."

"I don't care, just do something!" screamed Rose.

"Oh, I am so going to regret this." sighed Cassandra, and with a look of utter disgust, glided her atom formation out of the Doctor again, down the ladder, past Rose and the Master and into the nearest plagued human.

"Sweet lord! I am disgusting!" she shrieked, as the Doctor opened the door and pulled himself, Rose and the Master through.

"No you don't!" growled Cassandra, once more forming the pink glow and tearing up the ladder into the Master's mouth, just as the doors closed on the clones.

"This is your LAST WARNING, Cassandra!" shouted the Doctor, spinning round to face the Cassandra-inhabited Master.

"Oh wonderful, back where I started." The last human groaned, running a hand through the Master's bleached hair, which she disliked immensely


	6. Come along, Sparrow

A/N: I think I promised someone a chapter for 'Blink', so here we are! As for the chapter name - I find it rather adorable when 11 says "Come along, pond(s)!", so ya, this just sort of appeared in my head.

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><p>"Your life could depend on this. Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead! They are fast, faster than you could believe. Don't turn your back, don't look away, and DON'T. BLI-"<p>

"Oi!" came a voice from offscreen, "Are you going to blabber-jabber away to yourself all night? Some people are trying to work here!"

There was a sound of approaching footsteps, but the Doctor yelled in alarm.

"DON'T! Don't show your face on the screen! They are _humans _from -" He paused, clearly reluctant to mention dates in the video. "From after what happened. They'd recognise you, so just let _me _do the talking!"

"Fine, fine. Anything to get us off of this primitive _rock _of a planet."

"Everyone's always wondering who that is." said Larry, looking up from his furious scribbling, "Someone identifiable, I reckon. I even heard someone say he sounded like the old Prime Minister! You know, that Saxon bloke."

"Never mind him, he's just being an idiot." The Doctor nodded his head in the direction the voice had come from.

"I HEARD THAT!" came the indignant shout from off-screen.

"What happened to 'getting off this primitive rock'?" smirked Sally.

"That comes secondary to his dignity right now." the Doctor explained, "Oh, and he can't hear you. I've got the transcript."

"Speaking of which," the voice interjected, "Don't you think we've been talking for an awfully long time?"

This sentence hit both humans at the same time, and as one they turned to look at the stone angel, which, they noticed, was quite a lot closer than it had been before.

A/N: If you're confused about how the whole 'Harold Saxon' thing came _after _Blink, please go over to chapter 3 and read LÉ EPIC BACKSTORY OF EPIC (if you haven't already read it) ^_^


	7. She didn't draw that

A/N: Sorry for the long wait, everyone! I kinda have a lot of chapters on my computer, but I'm afraid of submitting them all at once because then I'll run out and you'll have to wait even _longer_ XD

Anyway, this is for 'Fear her' in case you hadn't guessed. I spent a while wondering about what it would be like inside the drawing. I toyed with the idea of them being sort of quantum-locked like the other drawings appeared to be, but I thought it'd be fun if they could move around freely but the drawing sort of 'updates' their new positions every ten minutes or something.

This chapter was originally for 'The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances', but the chapter I had written was really short and boring. I hope to extend it at some point, then I'll upload it ^_^

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><p>It was odd, the Master decided, being in a place with only two dimensions.<p>

Even more odd looking like a human child's drawing.

With a sigh, he attempted to move, and found he could. He was just exploring the fascinating world of a piece of paper when he suddenly noticed a large, blue rectangle in front of him. Well, from the point of view of someone looking at the paper, it would be beside him, but it didn't matter - he would hopefully be able to get out of here once inside the TARDIS, and with this thought in mind, he proceeded towards the ship.

However, the Isolus had seen only the outside of the TARDIS, and never guessed that it was bigger on the inside. So when the Master opened the doors, he was faced with simply the interior of a regular, non-dimensionally transcendental, wooden blue box.

"That's just not fair." He grumbled.

"Not really, is it?" grinned the Doctor from behind/beside him.

The Master jumped. "Where the heck did you come from?"

"We were just wondering where you'd got to, when suddenly - poof!" the Doctor examined himself and the paper world around them, "Fancy that! Been to the end of the universe, I have! Been shrunk, cloned, exterminated, possessed, brought back to life more times than I can remember, but I've never, _never _been in a 2-dimensional world! It's brilliant!"

"Never mind that! Where's Rose?"

The smile vanished from the Doctor's face. He reached into his inside pocket for the sonic screwdriver, but discovered it wasn't there. Clearly he had only been drawn with what the Isolus knew he had.

He then looked, without the aid of his screwdriver, all around the edges of their sheet of paper, which wasn't very big despite looking as though it stretched to infinity - another illusion of a 2-dimensional world.

After a short search, he concluded that Rose hadn't been captured by the Isolus.

"Well, what should we do now?" he mused.

"Nothing." said the Master in a flat voice. "Rose is probably blundering around without a clue what to do, the Isolus will carry on drawing people in 'till it's got the whole planet, and we'll be stuck in this ionic prison for the foreseeable future." he finished.

"Oh, aren't you Mr. Cheerful today?" said the Doctor, fishing around in his pockets, "And don't talk about Rose like that! She's clever, she'll think of something."

At that very moment, a familiar voice echoed around them, coming seemingly from above and in front at the same time.

"Doctor, Master, if you can hear me, I'm gonna get you out of there. I'll find the pod."

"ROSE!" The Doctor shouted, jumping up and down in his excitement.

"HAH! I TOLD YOU!" he grinned at the Master, "Rose Tyler! Did I mention, she's brilliant?"

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><p>"Nah, I'm not really a... cat person." the Doctor made a face.<p>

"Don't worry about him," the Master said, crouching down next to Rose and petting the orange feline, "He's just jealous because it's ginger."

"Meow!

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><p>AN: Yesh... I just wanted to add that bit in at the end XD you know, 'cause the Doctor whinges about not being ginger, so if Rose is suddenly paying attention to someone/something who is not him, _and_ it's also ginger, he gets a bit resentful XD

Well, that, and I just love writing the Master with cats ^_^


	8. Psychology

A/N: Ah, crap (if you'll excuse the language). I just realised I've been forgetting the disclaimer since chapter 3 D=

Oh well. I doubt there are any high-and-mighty officials coming round to tell me off, but just in case I'll try and continue it.

Doctor Who is copyrighted to the BBC, I do not own it.

Right, now for the fun part! Today is my birthday (hence the reason I'm up so astoundingly early), so you lot shall have another chapter! This one I wanted to write because it occurred to me how similar the Dream Lord and the Master are - before they'd revealed who he was in the episode, I really thought they'd brought the Master back XD

It's a bit of a short chapter I'm afraid, but if you like the Master-travelling-with-the-Doctor thing, please go check out my other fic, Paragon, and tell me what you think! I'm not sure whether to continue it or not, so reviews are loved 3

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><p>"Drop it." the Doctor said, "Drop all of it, I know who you are."<p>

"'Course you don't." the Dream Lord sneered.

"'Course I do. No idea how you can be here, but there are only two people in the universe who hate me as much as you do. And the other one is right here." he glanced at the Master, who raised his eyebrows.

"Oh come on, I don't _hate _you. I _tolerate _you for the sake of reality's continued existence. And that's the closest you're getting to a compliment."

"Ah yes, our Lord and Master." the Dream Lord said, turning around to face the other Time Lord, "You used to rule planets, whole civilisations! Now you follow _him_ around like some stray dog!"

"It's not like he's got a choice!" Amy interrupted, "The Doctor sort of... keeps him."

"Hogwash!" the Dream Lord snorted, then said to the Master, "You know as well as I do that you could escape if you _really _wanted to. What's keeping you in the TARDIS? Have you gone _soft_? Has the Doctor infected you with his saintly ways?"

"Oh, please." the Master rolled his eyes, "I travel with him because it's _convenient_. And amusing. Where else do you get to see a live tragedy over and over with variations? Ooh, he's got a companion. No wait, she's dead. Ooh, here's another one! Oh dear, she had to leave. Moving on! Oh, they're all dead. Another one! Ooh, she's leaving now. Aw, how sweet, they're in love. Too bad she died."

"Don't try lying to me, I'm the Dream Lord, remember? I know what's in your head." the Dream Lord winced, "And it's not too quiet in there, either. You should really have a volume control for those drums."

The Master flinched slightly but said nothing.

"It's a shame we haven't got much time to talk," the Dream Lord continued, "I've got so much good material here, what with you and your psychology problems, and Amy Pond, the girl who can't choose between her boys."

"Shut up." Amy said again, clenching her teeth.

"You don't need torment her about that," the Master said, "I do it all the time."

"Yes," the Dream Lord considered the Master, "Yes, we are quite similar, aren't we?"

"When you two have quite finished," the Doctor interjected, "There are better things to be doing." he turned to the Master, "I suppose you find it amusing to talk to someone who's just as snarky and spiteful as you are."

"Yes yes, this is good." the Master said, "I can test my new sarcastic remarks on him."

"I'd be delighted." the Dream Lord smiled cynically and then added, "Anyway, never mind me. Maybe you _should _worry about them.

The Doctor, Amy and Rory spun round to face the elderly people, who were advancing across the park towards them, and only the Master saw the Dream Lord wink and flash out of existence.


	9. Satellite Five

A/N: Hello everyone!

I know, I haven't updated in FOREVER. Excuses, excuses. Ah, hold on. *puts on Tennant face* I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

*ahem* anyway, yes. SORRY and all that, I've been very caught up with writing my other Doctor-and-Master fic, Paragon. Also, as I've probably said before, I'm paranoid about putting loads of chapters up because I might run out and then I'd feel pressured to update a lot. I like having a nice big load of chapters behind me before updating, so sorry about that :(

Another thing to be sorry for is the pitiful shortness of this chapter. But oh well.

A nice treat for you is that I'm going to hopefully upload the next one at Christmas! (providing I get internet - if not, sometime around then), because it's a festive-ish one.

Anyway, on with the fanfiction! Hope you all like it :D

Doctor Who is copyrighted to the BBC, I don't own it.

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><p>"You'll never get your hands on it, I'll <em>die<em> first!" the Doctor vowed.

"You can _die_ all you like!" snickered the Editor, "I don't need you - I've got the key."

As he said this, the TARDIS key rose slowly out of Adam's pocket and hung just outside the stream of information running from his head to the computer.

"You and your boyfriends!" the Doctor glared at Rose.

Rose paid no attention to him, instead turning to the Master (as well as she could turn in the handcuffs).

"This is all your fault!" she accused.

"How is it _my _fault?" he raised an eyebrow.

"I told you to keep an eye on him!"

"I'm not a _babysitter_!"

"Today," boasted the Editor, ignoring them both, "_We _are the headlines! We can re-write history. We can prevent mankind from ever developing."

"And no-one's gonna stop you." realised the Doctor, "Because you've bred a human race which doesn't bother to ask questions. Stupid little slaves, believing every lie - they'll just trot right into the slaughter-house if they're told it's made of gold."

"Well," huffed the Master, "I don't think they sound awfully different from your normal humans, Doctor."


	10. The Caretaker's Shadow

A/N: Alright, I'm sorry I didn't upload yesterday D=

I was busy, erm... doing Christmas-y stuff. (ALSO - I GOT A TARDIS MUG YAY :D)

Anyway, Merry Christmas everyone! Hope you all had a wonderful day!

This chapter's in two parts, because I like both scenes and thought the Master deserved to be in both of them xD

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><p>'Thump, thump, thump' came the noise of the wooden king's feet from below.<p>

"Hurry _up!_" Lily almost screamed.

"I told you, it doesn't do wood!" the Doctor said, once again shaking his sonic screwdriver, but it didn't seem to be doing any good.

"Oh honestly, let me do it." the Master said, sounding a lot less panicky than he was, and grabbed the screwdriver.

After about a minute of tinkering, the blond Time Lord seemed to have re-wired it so that a dim orange light shone out of the other end to the green one. He aimed it at the door, and pressed the button.

The faint glow went from orange to electric blue, almost white, and seemed to sizzle with energy. It was exactly the same colour, the Doctor noticed, as the Master's life force had been when he'd converted it into a weapon the Christmas before last.

Suddenly, the door made a sort of resigned _thump _and creaked open.

"B-but, but-" the Doctor stuttered, opening and closing his mouth as Lily ran up the stairs, "But it - it doesn't do wood!"

"Ah," grinned the Master, "But _I _do!"

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><p>"Doctor!"<p>

The Doctor had heard his name called at least a hundred times, but the Master had a particular way of spitting it out that made it perfectly clear he wanted his fellow Time Lord's attention _right now_.

He sighed and turned round to see the Master glaring at him.

"What's wrong now?"

"This spaceship. It's flying through the time vortex."

"Yes... oh, let me guess, you're angry because there's a 'stupid ape' sailing through time?"

"_Look _out there! Look!" the Master pointed at the multi-coloured tunnel speeding by outside.

A worried look crossed the Doctor's face, "It's not... it's not the drums, is it?"

"_Doctor!_ They've got _windows!_"

The Doctor was caught off-guard for a minute, and blinked. "What?"

"And _why _doesn't the TARDIS have windows, may I ask?"

"Well, it - err, umm..."

"Well? 'Glass couldn't withstand the energy' you said, 'We're much better off with the scanner screen' you said! I'm pretty sure _this_ stuff is holding out fine!"

"But it'd ruin the desktop...!" the Doctor argued feebly.

"To Skaro with the desktop! As soon as we get back, you're installing windows. End of story."

The Doctor sighed resignedly.

"Yes, Master..."


	11. Partners in Mime

A/N: So, somehow I've only just realised I have like, thirty reviews on this fanfiction - so... THANK YOU EVERYONE! I mean, it's not a HUGE number but seriously, I'm still very grateful to all of you, and I hope you continue to enjoy this fic :)

For this chapter, it's the scene suggested a while ago by the user Hino Hantari - I'm sorry I didn't get around to writing it sooner! Your comment seemed to have slipped through my memory/inbox somehow XD

Disclaimer: Doctor Who is copyrighted to the BBC, I don't own it. Not even a little bit of it :(

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><p>The Doctor carefully moved the end of the stethoscope onto the window, frowning as he listened to Miss Foster's voice, which the Master couldn't hear. He made this perfectly clear to the Doctor by huffing and leaning back against the wall.<p>

The Doctor shot him an apologetic look, which was met with a glare. He then frowned and, putting a finger to his lips, raised his head slightly above the window and glanced inside.

The Master folded his arms and continued glaring up at the Doctor, who was taking the stethoscope out of his ears.

A few seconds of muffled speech passed, and then the Doctor turned his head slightly and the Master felt him flinch with surprise.

Now determined not to be left out of things, the blond Time Lord poked his head above the sill and saw a familiar red-headed woman gawping at them from behind a window on the other side of the room.

The Doctor shot a quick glance at the Master, then looked back at Donna Noble with a look of utter astonishment on his face.

'_Donna?!' _he mouthed.

She mouthed something back which could only be, '_Doctor!_'

The Doctor somehow managed to silently splutter with confusion, while the Master tried to laugh without making a sound.

'_Oh. My. GOD!' _Donna said silently.

'_How?!' _the Doctor mouthed back. The Master was now in fits of silent hysterics. He had always been good at taking unexpected situations in his stride, but the Doctor was the opposite. He seemed to think saying 'What' a varying number of times would induce a sensible explanation from somewhere, and this was always a great source of amusement for the Master.

'_It's me!_' Donna mouthed, pointing at herself and beaming.

The Doctor nodded. '_Yes, I can see that._'

'_Ohh... this is BRILLIANT!_' Donna gave them the thumbs-up. She then noticed the Master, and mouthed, '_You still here, then_?'

'_Lovely to see you too_.' he replied, stifling another bout of laughter as she frowned at him.

'_Donna, what the hell are you doing there?!' _the Doctor interrupted silently, pointing at Donna through the window.

'_I'm watching you!_' she mimed, '_Looking for you!'_

The Doctor shared a confused look with the Master and pointed at himself. '_What for?_' he asked her.

Donna then went into a long, silent anecdote that seemed to entail, among other things, reading and climbing a wall. The Master frowned and turned to the Doctor.

"What's she on about?"

The Doctor simply shook his head and continued staring at Donna, who seemed to be miming an Ood. She made a little walking figure with her fingers, indicated Miss Foster and the others, dodged down behind the window, popped up again and pointed at the Time Lords triumphantly.

As far as the Master could work out, she'd been reading about creepy-crawly aliens and was under the impression that Miss Foster went out for evening walks with them and got pelted with projectiles thrown by himself and the Doctor.

"And you wonder why I don't think much of human intelligence." he muttered to the Doctor.

Donna jerked a thumb in the direction of Miss Foster but stopped, her tongue comically caught between her teeth. The Doctor and the Master simultaneously whipped their heads around to see the bespectacled woman looking to and fro between the sides of the charade show.

"Are we interrupting you?" she asked crisply.

There was a pause. The Master raised his eyebrows at Miss Foster and mouthed, '_Yes!_'.

The Doctor looked like he was tempted to roll his eyes, and probably would have done so if the situation wasn't so serious. Instead he turned to Donna and mouthed, _'Run!_'

She turned and ran.

"Get her." Miss Foster ordered the guards. The Doctor quickly aimed the sonic screwdriver and locked the door behind Donna.

"And them!" she added, pointing at the window.

The Doctor redirected the screwdriver towards the sky and the cables started drawing them upwards.

"Come on!" the Doctor called when they reached the roof, pulling himself and the Master out of the metal container and down some steps. They ran through a door and down more stairs inside the building, until the Doctor practically collided with Donna, who had been coming up the stairs.

"Oh, oh!" she squeaked a second later, letting him go and giving the Master an equally huge embrace, which he seemed none too happy about.

"I don't believe it!" she squealed, releasing him and staring at them both, "You've even got the same clothes-" her voice returned to normal, "Don't you two _ever _change?"

"Yeah, thanks Donna, not right now." the Doctor said, while the Master attempted to steady himself after Donna's unorthadox hug.

Something clanged loudly below them and the Doctor leaned over and saw the two guards running up the staircase towards them.

He glanced at the Master, then returned his gaze to Donna and grinned, "Just like old times!"

With that, he took both of their hands and sprinted up the stairs.


	12. Snow and grenades

A/N: Hi everyone! I finally got around to writing one for The Snowmen (Which I thought was awesome - especially Strax because he's hilarious xD)

Also, my chapters are all going around in a funny order - the one after this is one I wrote ages ago, because I like to mix new ones up with old ones - they're also getting longer - anyway, hope you enjoy :)

Disclaimer: Doctor Who is copyrighted to the BBC, I do not own it.

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><p>"They've taken samples from snowmen all over London," Strax said, peering through his binocular-like device.<p>

The Doctor ignored him. He was kneeling down, crumbling snow in his fingers and staring intently at it. The Master was leaning against the wall, dusting the snow off his top hat and muttering about how stupid it looked. Both Strax and the Doctor were used to these kind of complaints, because although the Master insisted he hated humans and the Earth, he seemed to spend a lot more time in London with Vastra, Strax and Jenny than sulking up on the cloud with the Doctor. However, this meant he had to blend in with the other Victorian gentlemen, which (to his annoyance) entailed wearing a top hat and carrying a cane, although he didn't mind this second addition too much (Strax suspected he was secretly converting it into a laser device).

"What do you suppose they're doing in there?" Strax asked, putting his device away and turning to look at the two Time Lords.

"This snow is new," the Doctor mused, "Possibly alien. When you find something brand-new in the world, something you've never seen before, what's the next thing you look for?"

"A grenade!" Strax guessed.

"A nuclear warship?" the Master suggested.

The Doctor rolled his eyes in a, '_Why do I hang out with two psychopaths?_' kind of way, then said, "A prophet."

"That's Victorian values for you." he continued, standing up and turning to look at them.

"I suggest a full frontal assault with automated laser-monkeys, scalpel mines and acid." Strax said in a businesslike way.

"I concur," the Master nodded, patting Strax on the head, "An excellent plan."

"Thank you, sir," Strax nodded.

"Outnumbered again," the Doctor muttered, "I really shouldn't let you two make the decisions around here."

"Don't worry, Strax," the Master whispered, "I'll get the laser-monkeys."

"Stop encouraging him!" the Doctor said, pointing accusingly at the other Time Lord, who simply raised an eyebrow and put his top hat back on.

"Couldn't we at least investigate?" Strax asked.

"It's none of our business," the Doctor said sulkily, walking over to an icy window and leaning against it.

"Sir," Strax said, "Permission to express my opposition to your current apathy."

"Permission granted," the Doctor said resignedly.

Strax inclined his head, then said, "Sir, I am opposed to your current apathy."

The Master rolled his eyes.

"Thank you, Strax," the Doctor nodded. "And if I'm ever in the need of advice from a psychotic potato dwarf," he continued, walking over and putting his hands on Strax's ears, "You'll certainly be the first to know."

"But if the snow is new and alien," Strax protested, "Shouldn't we be making some attempt to destroy it? Be reasoable-"

The Doctor put a finger to the Sontaran's lips, shutting him up.

"It is not our problem," he said. "Over a thousand years of saving the universe, Strax. D'you know the one think I learnt? The universe doesn't care."

"Doctor," the Master interrupted, "Permission to express _my _opposition to your current apathy."

"Since when do you need permission...?" the Doctor muttered under his breath, then aloud he sighed, "Permission granted."

His words were greeted with a rather violently thrown snowball.

"Oi!" the Doctor spluttered, wiping snow off his hair and nose, "What was that for?!"

"Shut up," the Master stalked over and glared at the Doctor, "Go back to your cloud. I don't know if you've noticed, Doctor, but you're my only way off this planet - a planet that might soon be under attack by alien snow. But since you're obviously _far_ too important to save it, I suppose _I'll _have to. Come on, Strax." he grabbed the Sontaran's hand in a distinctly Doctor-ish manner, and pulled him over to the taxicab.

"I don't know why you thought locking random bar-maids in cabs would help save the planet, either!" the Master called loudly over his shoulder at the still completely nonplussed Doctor.


	13. The Pandorica

A/N: I'm running out of ways to say "I'M SO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED"... ;_;

Also I'm sorry this one's quite short and contains a LOT of canon dialogue - it's quite tricky trying to find places in the conversation where the Master would fit in nicely, without it seeming like I'm just pasting him in, if you see what I mean XD

Anyway, any fans of Paragon who are reading this, I PROMISE I'm going to update it soon. I got completely soaked in the rain the other day, so I was inspired to write a very rainy chapter, which I'm finishing and should be able to upload soon :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who...

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><p>"You graffitied the oldest cliff face in the universe." the Master glared at her.<p>

"_You _wouldn't answer your phone." River retorted.

"It's not _my _phone." the Master said, "And maybe if you didn't call at unreasonable hours of the night?

"You heard it, and you didn't pick it up?"

"I was busy! I can't interrupt a cross-dimensional circuit repair job just because River Song's in a spot of trouble... again!"

"It's the _universe _that might be in trouble this time, Master."

"The whole universe doesn't revolve around you, funnily enough."

"Stop it. Stop it, both of you!" the Doctor scowled at them, "Rassilon, you two deserve each other! River, what do you mean, the universe might be in trouble?"

River picked up a rolled-up piece of parchment and held it out for the Doctor.

"What's this?"

"It's a painting. Your friend Vincent. One of his final works. He had visions, didn't he? I thought you ought to know about this one."

The Doctor took the painting and spread it out on a nearby table.

"Doctor?" Amy leaned over and looked at it, "Doctor, what is this?"

"Well, what does it look like, Amy?" The Master asked in the manner one would ask a child to relate something that was already blatantly obvious.

"Don't patronise me." Amy growled. "It looks like the TARDIS exploding."

"Well then!" the Master raised his eyebrows at her, "That's what it is!"

"It might not be that literal." River said, "Anyway, this is where he wanted you. Date and map reference on the door sign, see?"

"Does it have a title?" the Doctor asked.

"'The Pandorica Opens'."

"The Pandorica?" Amy looked up, "What is it?"

"A box, a cage, a prison." River said, ignoring the Master's mutter of, "A trap?"

"It was built to contain the most feared thing in all the universe." she continued.

"But it's a fairy tale, a legend, it _can't be real_!" the Doctor was pacing now, up and down the tent.

"If it is real, it's here and it's opening." River said, "And it's got something to do with your TARDIS exploding!"

As the Doctor began getting out maps and charts, Amy whispered to the Master, "Why would the TARDIS even explode in the first place?"

"I don't know." the blond Time Lord shrugged, "Maybe I left the stove on."

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><p>AN: Erm, did I miss something here, or did anyone ever explain exactly WHY the TARDIS decided to explode/not land/rip a hole in reality/whatever? XD


	14. A Social Call

A/N: Hey guys! Nice new chapter for you... for some reason I love the Master's psychical description in this. That's all :)

Disclaimer: Do you think I'd still be here if I owned Doctor Who? Actually I probably would be, on second thoughts... XD

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><p>"I AM COPING ON MY OWN!" Craig Owens yelled, rushing to the door and flinging it open, expecting to see one of his friends or relations that Sophie had roped into helping him babysit.<p>

Instead, he saw two familiar men. One of them had floppy brown hair and was wearing a bow tie and a silly grin, and the other was dressed all in black, with a shock of white hair and an expression that said he'd rather be anywhere else in the universe than here.

"Hello, Craig!" the Doctor said, "We're back!"

Craig gaped at him for a moment.

"She didn't... how could she phone you?!" he demanded.

"How could who phone us? Nobody phoned us, we're just here." the Doctor leaned forward and poked his head through the door. "Oh, you've redecorated!" he withdrew himself and glanced around again, shaking his head. "I don't like it. What do you think, Master?" he turned to his companion, then before the Master could reply, he continued, "No wait, hold on, you don't know a _thing _about Earth decor, why am I asking you?"

"It's a different house," Craig said, "We've moved!"

"Yes... that's it." the Doctor smiled as if he'd only just noticed.

"Why did you move?" the Master asked, "This is just as much of a dump as your last place."

Craig opened his mouth, remembered that it was better not to reply to the Master's snide comments, and settled for a safer question.

"Doctor, what are you two doing here?"

"Social call. Thought it was about time I tried one out." the Doctor paused. "How are you?"

"I'm... fine?" Craig shook his head in confusion, looking from one Time Lord to the other.

"This is the bit where I say 'We're fine, too', isn't it?" the Doctor asked.

Receiving no answer from either of them, he quickly continued, "We're fine too!", then amended, "Well,I'm fine. Not sure about him." he turned to the Master, "How are you?"

"I'm fine." the Master said flatly.

"I'm fine, too!" the Doctor grinned and turned back to Craig, "See? I'm getting better at this."

Craig just nodded dumbly.

"Good!" the Doctor said, "Love to Sophie. Bye!" he casually grabbed the Master's hand, turned around and began walking off. The Master pulled his hand free, wiping it on his hoodie as though it might carry Doctor-Germs.

Suddenly, the electric light above Craig's door crackled and flashed on and off. The Doctor stopped, glancing around.

"Something's wrong," he said. Seizing the Master's hand again, he pushed past Craig and into the house.

"Would you _stop_ doing that?" the Master said in disgust, tugging away from the Doctor, who was sonic-ing around the hallway, "I'm not one of your human girlfriends, you know. I'm perfectly capable of moving around without your assistance."

"Sorry, nervous habit." the Doctor smiled, wiggling his fingers. "Craig!" he called as the man rushed into the room after them, "You're on your own, you said. But you're _not_." he waved the sonic and jumped up the stairs. "You're not on your own."

"Just, shhhh!" Craig followed the floppy-haired Time Lord, holding a finger to his lips.

The Doctor took no notice. "Increased sulphur emissions, and look at the state of this place!" he turned as Craig reached him and they stood face-to-face, "What are you not telling me?"

"Doctor, please-"

"Shhh..." the Doctor hushed, looking around.

"No, you shush-"

"Shh!" the Doctor hissed louder.

"SHUSH!" Craig interrupted. The Master, who had followed them upstairs at a more leisurely pace, stood a few steps below them and watched with a smirk on his face.

"No, _you _shush!" the Doctor turned and continued towards a door across the landing.

"Doctor!" Craig protested. The Doctor took no notice. He turned the door handle and ran in, brandishing the sonic screwdriver.

"Whatever you are, get off this plane-" he began, but faltered at the sight of a wailing baby in its cot.

Craig followed him in and sighed. "You've woken him!" he accused.

The Master came in last and considered the infant while the Doctor and Craig tried to calm him down. Finally he said, "I don't know what's more revolting - stunted little apes, or stunted little ape _babies_."

"Oi, don't be so rude!" the Doctor called over his shoulder, "How d'you think _we_ looked as babies? Probably more revolting, especially since we'd have been wearing those Gallifreyan baby suits with tacky cartoons of the Alignment of the Seven Paradigm Shards printed on them."

The Master folded his arms and said nothing in reply. Craig couldn't tell if he was embarrassed or not, but knew better than to ask.


	15. Doomsday

A/N: Here you go, here's my attempt at writing sad stuff. I HOPE YOU CRY. (Also playing the 'Doomsday' track in the background helps) (I'm so cruel, aren't I)

This fic was kind of based off a graphic I made on DeviantArt. The username is Atlantihero-Kyoxei and the deviation is called "Doomsday? (2)" (because Fanfiction is silly and won't let me put in links.)

Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who.

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><p>"<em>Systems closed<em>." said the synthetic computer voice as the white glow from the rift shut off.

"Take me back!" Rose screamed, her voice choked with sobbing. She beat the wall relentlessly with the palms of her hand, "_Take me back!_"

Pete unhooked the void hopper from around his neck and examined it.

"It's stopped working," he said, quietly. "They did it. they closed the breach."

Rose just sobbed, breathing in gasps as tears streamed down her face, smudging her mascara. Her heart felt as if a cold, dead weight had settled in the bottom of it, and her throat ached from screaming.

She suddenly looked up, pressing her ear against the wall frantically. She'd heard, or felt, _something_. A presence there.

She breathed in deeply, and caught a faint, familiar array of scents. Dust, honey and the brown leathery smell of the Doctor's coat that always hung around him. The hair products which he swore he never used, but she knew he did. She felt a sudden warmth under her palm, which was pressed against the wall, and then abruptly, nothing.

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><p>The Doctor stepped back from the wall, the pain and sadness in his eyes almost tangible. The Master slipped his hands into his hoodie's front pocket and watched the other Time Lord checking intruments around the room. Both their expressions were unreadable.<p>

"All gone," said the Doctor after a few minutes, "The void is closed. Daleks, Cybermen, gone. Forever." he glanced up at the Master, but the blond Time Lord either couldn't, or didn't want to, meet his eyes.

The Doctor offered a hand, and the Master finally looked up at him. And for a second, the Doctor saw the small, dark-haired boy from Gallifrey, running to his friend with tears in his eyes, saying there was a noise, a noise in his head. The Doctor had laughed at the time, said it was nothing to worry about. How wrong he had been.

He occasionally caught glimpses of the real Master, behind the cruel, cold mask he wore. He wondered if the other Time Lord could see through his mask.

The Master turned away, but the Doctor still saw the hollow, anguished look that had crossed his face. He went slowly over to where the Doctor had just been standing, and stopped when his face was several inches from the wall. He gazed at it, as if hoping to see something new in the featureless whiteness.

The Doctor put his hands in his pockets and stared at his trainers. The last image of Rose, clinging onto the handle for dear life, was still fresh in his mind. His hearts felt broken and empty. Did the Master's, he wondered?

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><p>Rose stayed at the wall for at least ten minutes. Pete, Jackie and Mickey had quietly left her in peace, although she wished they'd stayed. The loneliness was pressing on her like cold water, suffocating her.<p>

She had slid down to the floor, her head leaning against the wall. There was a blank expression on her tear-soaked face as she thought and re-thought all the ways she could have stopped what had happened. If only she'd held on just a little longer... she wished the Doctor was here, wished so badly it hurt. She wanted nothing but to hold him close and bury her face in his coat and never let go. And to see the Master, slowly circling the console like a cat, his eyes all mystery and madness, but a tiny bit of sorrow that she always found. Her wonderful, amazing spacemen. Now they were all alone.

She sat up abruptly. There was a noise. A quiet, pulsing noise vibrating through the wall, like an impossibly low bass note.

She leaned closer, pressing her ear against the wall, which had gone ice cold. Yes, there it was. A tiny, barely perceptible rhythm. One, two, three, four.

The presence returned, like a shadow. Different this time, but still the sense of age and power, and the sound got louder, drumming in her ears.

She could _sense _someone was there.

Her mouth salty from tears, she whispered, "_Master?_"

There was no reply, the chill beneath her hand was gone, but the rhythm continued quietly and sadly, like an echo from another world.


	16. Meet your Master

A/N: I know, I know, it's been forever. I'm sorry!

Here's a chapter I wrote a while ago, and if I'd been uploading the episodes in the right order, this would've been the first one. It's the first time Rose actually meets the Master, sooo yes (if you're confused about this, please see the Epic Backstory in chapteeer... 3 I believe? Thanks for your time ^^

Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who.

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><p>"Rose? Are you in there?"<p>

The door swished open, and the Doctor came through, followed by a man with bleach-blond hair wearing a strange sort of suit. _Must be an alien fashion, _thought Rose.

"Hiya!" the Doctor grinned, but Rose noticed a kind of hardness in his eyes, and he kept glancing at his associate, as though afraid he might blow up at any minute.

"Oh, I should have known you'd adopt another ape." said the man in the suit, folding his arms and looking at Rose in the same way one might look at a stray dog that had just wandered into the house.

"What did ya call me?" she demanded.

"An ape. You look like one, too."

Rose felt very insulted. "You'd better watch it, mate!"

"She's got nerve too! He always picks the feisty ones."

"Shut up." the Doctor said, "I don't have to take you back, you know."

"But you will."

"Try me."

"Sorry, what's goin' on?" Rose interjected.

The two men were almost nose-to-nose now, glaring at each-other. The man in the suit said, sarcastically and without looking round, "He dumped me here a while ago but then he missed me so he came back."

"Did you have to put it _quite_ like that?" the Doctor sighed.

"Why is she staring at us?"

"Because she thinks we're, eh, together."

"Hm. I've heard worse." the man turned and grinned enigmatically at Rose, "Don't worry, I'm sure you and the Doctor will be snogging by the end of the week."

"What?" she blushed furiously.

He shrugged. "Maybe two weeks."

"Ignore him. He's always like this." the Doctor turned and glared at the man. "I'd forgotten how irritating you can be."

"Then I clearly wasn't irritating enough."

"Rose," the Doctor said, still glaring at the man, "Meet the Master. He's, ah, coming with us. I'm sure you'll be great friends."


	17. Rewiring and Bondage

A/N: This is a slightly longer chapter for you, with a scene in the middle which is pretty much non-canon. Basically I guessed the Master wouldn't really want to go out with the Doctor and the Slitheen OR Rose and Mickey, so he'd probably just stay in the TARDIS and annoy Jack. I put in the random passer-by for fun XD

Also, since the Master never did the whole taking-over-the-world-and-torturing-Jack thing, I imagine he gets on a bit better with our dear captain, even if they do fight a lot XD

Also slight Master!Whump. Yay XD

Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who.

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><p>"There are people out there," the Doctor said, turning away from Margret and returning to the console, "If you slip away, just for one second, they'll be in danger."<p>

"So what if a few apes get hurt? No big deal." The Master was grinning like a cheshire cat, partly because he liked carelessly disregarding human lives to annoy people, and partly because he _loved _seeing the Doctor's obvious discomfort about holding the Slitheen woman prisoner.

"Except," Jack said suddenly, "I've got these." He fished a pair of silver circlets out of his pocket. "You both wear one. If she moves more than 10 feet away...ZZT!" Jack made a buzzing noise to indicate an electric shock, then flashed a grin at Margret, "She gets zapped by 10,000 volts."

"Oh, that _is _slick," purred the Master, materialising beside Jack and trying to pry the bracelets out of his hands, but the captain dangled them out of his reach.

"Huh. Only time you pay any attention to me is when I've got some shiny new death device for you to play with."

"You get enough attention as it is," the Master replied, making another attempt to grab the handcuffs, "Oh come on, I just want a _look_ at them!"

"Yeah, sure you do." Jack retorted sarcastically.

"_Margret_," the Doctor coughed, pointedly ignoring his companions, "Would you like to come out to dinner? My treat?" he beamed.

"Dinner and bondage." She smirked, "Works for me."

"Fantastic." The Doctor spun around to face the Master and Jack, "So - are you two gonna flirt all evening or are you coming with us?"

The Master opened his mouth indignantly, closed it again, then flopped down into the pilot's seat resignedly, "I'm staying here."

"How 'bout you, Jack?" the Doctor grinned.

"I'd better see if I can hook this extrapolator up to the console properly," said Jack matter-of-factly, passing the handcuffs over to the Doctor, who chucked one to Margret.

"Come on, then," he said, snapping his bracelet on and holding out his arm for her. The Slitheen got to her feet and took it, simpering nastily at him as they went out of the TARDIS, arm in arm.

"Well, aren't you two sweet?" the Master called after them, but the Doctor chose not to reply.

There was silence in the console room for a while, as Jack fiddled around with the extrapolator and wires and bits of string beneath the console, looking every inch the Doctor. The Master just sat on the padded seat, occasionally catching Jack's eye and grinning in a way that suggested a very unhinged mind.

"Are you going to help out, or not?" said Jack after a few minutes.

"Get sombody else to help out," the Master mumbled, now engrossed in tying a complicated knot in his hoodie's drawstrings.

"You know, for a genius of supposedly unrivalled intelligence, you really aren't very aware of what's going on around you." Jack teased, "Rose and Mickey are off on a date. The Doctor and the Slitheen are off on a date. So will you help me install this?"

"All of the best geniuses are only aware of themselves," the Master said, abandoning his knotwork and getting up. He knelt down by the console and slid under to join Jack with the re-wiring, "It's why we're such... geniuses"

"Somebody's a bit conceited."

"_You_ just called me a genius."

"That's a compliment, it's not the same as calling yourself a genius, genius."

"I _am _a genius, genius."

"You're connecting those couplings wrong." Jack pointed out.

"I'm connecting them perfectly, you just don't understand the method, love."

"Shut up, genius."

After half an hour of bantering and about ten minutes of actual _work_, they became aware of a breeze in the console room. The door had been left open. Jack got up to close it, and the Master was just settling into a peaceful routine of tangling all the wires on Jack's side of the extrapolator up again when he heard the familiar inquiry of, "Cap'n Jack Harkness, and who are you?"

"Oh for-" the Master sighed and bounced to his feet, darting over to the entrance, where Jack was leaning against the doorframe and flashing that smile of his that often caused temporary blindness to a young, doe-eyed... person of unspecified gender. It had short black hair and could've been either male or female, but the Master didn't care, and didn't imagine Jack did either.

"You fancy gettin' a drink later?" Jack winked at 'it'.

"Excuse me Casanova, I think we have an extrapolator to re-wire," the Master butted in, grabbing Jack by the arm and pulling him back into the TARDIS, slamming the door shut in the genderless person's face.

"Hey, I was busy!" Jack protested, swatting the Master away, "You're such a sourpuss! Besides, it's not like the extrapolator's gonna blow up if we don't attend to it now!"

"That was a clever lie to stop you chatting up passers-by. It disturbs the peace and I think it's very irritating."

"You're jealous, just because I'm paying attention to someone other than _you_, you egotistical-"

There was an almighty explosion from behind them. The extrapolator was flashing and smoking, and sparks were flying everywhere. The console shuddered as they both dashed over.

"What where you saying a second ago?" the Master joked as Jack tried to get a handle on the extrapolator. There were peals of electricity and what sounded like thunder coming from outside, and the lights in the console room flickered and buzzed. It was complete chaos.

"What the hell are you doing?!" a familiar voice shouted from the door. The Doctor was back, rushing up to the console and looking from Jack to the Master. Margret hurried up behind him and skidded to a halt next to the Master.

"It just went crazy!" Jack said, still trying to stop whatever was happening to the extrapolator. The Master, who had been examining the scanner screen closely, tugged it around so the Doctor could see.

"It's the rift," the Doctor said, "Time and space are ripping apart! The whole city's gonna disappear!"

"It's the extrapolator!" shouted Jack after a quick check, "I've disconnected it, but it's still feeding off the engines! It's using the TARDIS, I can't stop it!"

"The rift energy can't be controlled, Doctor!" the Master hissed, "We won't be safe in here!"

"Nevermind us, it's gonna rip open the planet!" the Doctor replied, feverishly pressing buttons on the console to no avail.

The door banged open again and Rose fell in, breathless. "What is it? What's happening?!"

"Oh, just little me!" Margret cackled suddenly, ripping the fake skin off her Slitheen arm and grabbing the Master's neck from behind. He gasped and tried to struggle free as she lifted him off the floor, choking him.

"Master!" screamed Rose, rushing at Margret.

"One wrong move and he snaps like a promise!" the Slitheen shouted, stopping Rose dead in her tracks.

"I might've known!" the Doctor said angrily, glaring at her. "Let him go, now!"

"I had you bleating all night - poor _baby_," she simpered, taking a step closer to them, still holding the Master off the ground by his throat, "Now shut it! You," she shot a glare at Jack, "Fly boy! Put the extrapolator at my feet!" to enforce her point, Margret jerked the Master violently, her huge green claws squeezing tighter around his neck. He gasped in pain.

Jack looked at the Doctor, who nodded without looking back, and then retrieved the flashing board from the console, walked slowly over to Margret and bent down to place it by her feet.

"Thank you," she smiled sweetly at him, her voice dripping honey. He scowled back, but did nothing.

"Just as I planned." she said in a low voice.

"I thought you needed to blow up a nuclear power station?" asked Rose, not taking her eyes off the Master, who looked in danger of suffocating.

"Failing that," Marget snapped, "If I were to be... arrested," she lifted the Master a little higher and stroked his hair, her voice soaked in sweetness, "Then anyone capable of tracking me down would have considerable technology of their own." she grinned nastily, turning to the Doctor and Jack. "Therefore, they would be captivated by the extrapolator. Especially a magpie mind like yours, _Doctor_. So the extrapolator was programmed to go to plan B!" her voice suddenly raised, and she tugged the Master's head back by his hair, causing him to let out a strangled cry. "To lock on to the nearest power source and open the rift." she turned her eyes to the TARDIS column, "And what a power source it found. I'm back on schedule, thanks to you."

"Not a bad plan, actually," the Master got out, still fighting for breath but managing to smile charmingly at her, which earned him another brutal squeeze from the claws.

"The rift's gonna convulse - you'll destroy the whole planet!" Jack said.

"And you with it!" she spat, slinging the Master off to one side like a rag doll, letting him touch the floor at arm's length, but keeping a firm grip on his throat. "While I ride this board over the crest of the inferno, all the way to freedom." she smirked and stepped onto the extrapolator, as more smoke and sparks issued from the console, "Stand back, boys. _Surf's up_."


	18. My wrist or hers?

A/N: A slightly darker and more emotional chapter again. I WILL GET ON WITH WRITING COMEDY CHAPTERS SOON. I PROMISE!

Anyways... I love writing the Master and River together so... yey :3

Also I've drawn an illustration for this chapter here - atlantihero-kyoxei . deviantart art/Careless-468585749 (remove spaces)

Disclaimer: Doctor Who is owned by the BBC, not me.

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><p>"<em>CALM DOWN<em>!" River shouted.

"NO!" the Doctor screamed back, running towards the door.

"Talk to me, Doctor-"

"NO!" he turned around and stormed towards her, hissing, "You get your wrist out, _you get your wrist out without breaking it_." He turned again and made for the door.

"How?" River glanced helplessly at the Master, then at the Doctor's retreating back.

"I dunno, just do it! Change the future!" he called without turning around.

The Master didn't follow him. Instead, he walked over to the chair where the Doctor had thrown the book, picked it up (the book, that is, not the chair), sat down and started to read the chapter titles.

"What did the Doctor see?" River asked.

"Chapter title. '_Amelia's last farewell_," the Master rolled his eyes, "Sentimental idiot."

River drew in a breath, processing this information. "Okay. Can you get my wrist out?"

"You heard the Doctor. Do it yourself." The Master said in a bored voice, turning the book over and scanning the copyright page, which was apparently fascinating.

He continued to read it for two minutes, ignoring the sharp exclamations of pain as River tried to extricate her hand from the Angel's grip.

"I can't do it," River said finally, "A little help would be nice."

"Oh, this is rich. The famous River Song, asking for _help_..."

"You're right, it doesn't happen often," she replied thoughtfully. The Master chuckled, glancing again at the front of the book before pocketing it. He got up and walked over, fixing her with a frown.

"What?" she muttered. He didn't reply.

River Song and the Master had always had... something. The _Doctor's_ connection to her was obvious, blindingly bright, all twists and turns through River's life, like a ballroom dance. But with the Master, it was more subtle. Like a thread cutting through time. There was always a spark between them, every time they met.

"You're staring at me," the Master said.

"I think you started it, actually."

"Nope, it was definitely you."

River rolled her eyes. In some ways, he was so much like the Doctor - centuries old, but still as obstinate and perverse as a four-year-old.

"River," he said after a few seconds, spitting out her name like a bad taste, "Do you have any idea exactly how much your very _existence _repulses me?"

River raised her eyebrows. "You really know how to compliment girls, don't you?"

"You treat space like a playground, you tie knots in time, and you use regenerations like _toys_." the Master's voice was low and dangerous. "You're a _disgrace_ to the history of Gallifrey, and unworthy of the name of Time Lord."

River blinked, her face unreadable.

After a moment she said quietly, "Gallifrey was beautiful, wasn't it? The Doctor showed me a painting once."

He sighed, turning his eyes away from her. "Yes, yes it was. It shone so brightly and burned so fiercely, our neighbouring planets believed it was a star."

"I'm sorry I never got to see it."

The Master's mouth twitched into what could almost be described as a smile.

"By the way, you're still a disgrace to its history. I hadn't finished."

"Well, can you finish _after _we've sorted out this business?" River nodded at the front hall, where the Doctor and Amy's voices could be faintly heard.

"Fine," the Master sighed again, and snapped his fingers. A golden spark ignited between them, then curled around the angel's hand like a glowing serpent. With a burning heat, the stone wrist began to melt like wax, until River managed to pull her hand free and immediately slapped the Master in the face.

"Ow!" he recoiled, the glow fading back into his fingers, "What was that for?!"

"Pointless waste of regeneration energy, you complete hypocrite!" River said angrily.

"I'm sorry, would you rather I broke _yours_?" he said, turning away, "Besides, I used about half a year of my life, wheras _you_ used at least four centurieson the Doctor in Berlin. That was careless, River."

"He was dying."

The Master turned again, took a step closer until they were inches apart.

"You care about the Doctor so much that it breaks your heart, but one day, your stupid, arrogant _pride _is going to get someone killed. Because you won't admit it, but the Doctor means everything to you."

There was silence.

River sighed, and looked him straight in the face. "Remind you of someone?"


	19. Interrupting

A/N: Not my best chapter, I'm afraid - I just got inspired by Deep Breath and HAD to write something (also I've been neglecting this fic. I'M SORRY!)

This scene was one of my favourites. Also I just needed another excuse to write the Master interacting with the Paternoster gang.

Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, the BBC does.

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><p>The dinosaur was still over in the Thames, roaring and stomping about restlessly, but the Master paid no attention to it. He stood by the window, trying and failing to hide his amusement as the Doctor blundered around like a disorientated white flamingo.<p>

"Don't look in that mirror!" said the Doctor suddenly, interrupting his own tirade about the illogicality of bedrooms, "It's absolutely furious!"

He hurried over to it, pointing, and Clara, Jenny and Vastra followed, crowding around him and flapping their hands like a whole flock of flamingos.

"Oh, leave him alone!" the Master said, grinning, "Just let him zoom around until he bumps into something or runs out of battery."

Clara shot a glare at him. "You - shut up. Doctor, please! You have to lie down, you keep passing out."

The Doctor frowned at her. "Well, of course I keep passing out, there's all these beds!" he lurched over to the bed again, but then spun around to stare at Clara.

"Why d'you keep talking like _that?_ What's gone wrong with your accent, why d'you-"

"Nothing's wrong with her accent!" interrupted Jenny, trying to calm him down.

"Actually-" the Master started, but Vastra shushed him.

"You all sound the same!" the Doctor nearly shrieked, "It's spreading! You all sound all..." he waved his hands around as if appealing to the heavens, "_English!"_

This was evidently too much for the Master, who burst out laughing. Jenny punched him in the arm.

"You're not helping!" she snapped, "Aren't you supposed to know about this kind of thing? How do we help him?"

"We don't," said the Master, "We sit back and let him amuse us."

"You!" said the Doctor, suddenly catching sight of the Master and crossing the space between them in two strides until they were almost nose-to-nose, "I know you."

"I should hope so, too." The Master tried to edge out of the way, but the Doctor placed both hands on the windowsill behind the other Time Lord, trapping him.

"I've seen you somewhere before. You're someone... important, I know it. I just need to think, I..."

The Master smiled reassuringly at him. "I'm sure it'll come to you."

"Wait, wait, wait, wait," said the Doctor, standing back a little and flapping his arms again, "I've got it! You're that wee lad, aren't you? You're Barnable!"

"No, I am not."

"Well then who are you?"

The Master started to say '_I am the Master'_, but at that moment Vastra came forward.

"Doctor," she said in a soothing voice, taking his arm, "I need your help with something."

He turned to her, looking relieved. "Finally. Someone who can talk properly."

As Vastra led the Doctor over to the bed, talking in the same, soothing voice about something, the Master didn't care what, Clara came over and stood beside him.

"Why does he keep doing that?" she asked, nodding at the Doctor.

"Did you see that?" said the Master, half to himself, "Scale-face just ruined my favourite line. She interrupted. I swear, she does that all the time. On purpose. Hmm, sorry? Why does who keep doing what?"

"Mistaking people for other people. It's like he can't even remember us."

The Master shrugged. "One incidental sidekick is very much like another to us Time Lords. I would've thought he'd remember _me_, though."

"Pff. Maybe you're more of an incidental sidekick that you think."

The Master opened his mouth to form an indignant reply, but for the third time that day he was interrupted as the Doctor flumped back onto the pillows with a loud creak of bedsprings.

Vastra nodded in satisfaction and pulled the covers over him. "I love monkeys, they're so funny."

"Excuse me," said the Master, "The Doctor and I are not 'monkeys'."

"Oh, and me and Clara _are_?" said Jenny, sounding offended.

"Yes," the Master smiled.

"No," said Vastra patiently, "You are apes."

"I really don't see the difference," said the Master.

"Well, an ape is-" Vastra began, but the Master cut her off.

"And I really don't care, either."

He paused, and grinned with satisfaction. See how _she _liked being interrupted for once. "Right. You lot fuss over him-" he waved a hand at the gently snoring Doctor, "I'm going to find Strax."

"Hang on!" said Clara as the Master made for the door, "You can't leave him! He's just regenerated!"

"Really? I hadn't noticed."

With that, the Master left the room, and they heard him walking down the corridor, calling, "Strax! What say we break out the laser toolkit and turn the horse into a lethal, flamethrowing cyborg?"

"Sounds ideal to me, sir!" came Strax's voice from further away, and the girls exchanged looks of slightly worried resignation.


	20. Human Nature

A/N: Hey guys! I'm SO sorry I haven't updated for ages, you know, stuff got in the way (and then FF.N was down for ages wtf o.o)

ANYWAY here is the chapter for Human Nature/the Family of Blood as suggested by Zeus' Sins and possibly some other people. It was originally gonna be short but then I, uh, extended it. This is like the longest ITWD chapter yet. Also I'm sorry if it's not as funny as the usual stuff, I need to get back into the swing of writing humour but I'm currently experimenting with drama, so bear with me :3

Also apologies if my obsession with Martha and the Master slips through here. They just... guh *drools*

Note: this is ALTERNATE UNIVERSE Martha who doesn't hate the Master for taking over the world (but still thinks he's a grumpy git) (see backstory in chapter 3 for further details)

Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, iz copyrighted to the BBC ^.^

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><p>"Ma'am!" called Martha, hurrying after Joan Redfern as she walked towards the staircase. The nurse turned to her with an enquiring expression.<p>

"That book," began Martha, indicating the leather-bound journal still clutched in the other woman's hands.

"Oh, I'll look after it, don't worry," Joan assured her. "He did say I could read it."

She turned to go, and Martha found herself blurting out, "But - it's silly, that's all."

Joan turned again, surprised, and Martha shrugged. "Just stories."

Joan gave her a wan smile, and then quite suddenly asked, "Who is he, Martha?"

"I'm sorry?" Martha blinked, taken aback.

Joan gave a little sigh, casting her eyes to the ceiling as if searching for the right words to describe the Doctor - or as she knew him, Mr. Smith.

"It's like he's left the kettle on," she said slowly, "Like he knows he has something to get back to, but he can't remember what."

Martha chuckled. Didn't she know it. "That's just him."

"You arrived with him, didn't you?" Joan continued. "Him and Mr. Saxon. They found you employment here at the school, isn't that right?"

Martha nodded. "I used to work for the family - I mean, Mr. Smith's family. He just sort of inherited me. Mr. Saxon's an old friend of his."

Joan inclined her head, her lips curved into a smile that was a little too understanding for Martha's liking. "Well, I'd be careful. If you don't mind me saying, you sometimes seem a little familiar with them both - especially Mr. Smith. Best remember your position."

She gave Martha a meaningful nod and then turned, hugging the journal to her chest as she hurried away down the corridor.

"Yes ma'am," said Martha mockingly under her breath, throwing a look of resentment after the matron. She quelled the urge to rush after the other woman and slap her, and instead turned to leave the corridor, almost bumping into a man emerging from an adjoining room.

"Oh, I'm sorry, sir-" she said hurriedly, glancing up to see who she'd upset _this_ time.

She simultaneously relaxed and tensed up when she recognised the blond, immaculately dressed Master, as usual looking (in Martha's opinion) completely stupid in his high-collared teacher's coat and large mortar board hat.

"Mr. Saxon, sir." Martha gave as small a curtsey as she could get away with. "I do apologise."

"Not to worry, Martha." He gave her an equally small bow and the shadow of a wink. "It's only me. However, it wouldn't do for anybody else to hear you speaking of Matron in such... scornful tones."

"I'm sorry, sir," said Martha again, nodding apologetically. He shrugged.

"Well, be off with you. I must say, I don't know what you mean by hanging around Mr. Smith's study so regularly."

"He fell down the stairs, sir. I just wanted to make sure he was alright."

The Master looked surprised at this news. "Fell down the stairs? Is he injured?"

Martha couldn't help feeling a jolt of surprise herself, as she always did when the Master actually _concerned _himself with the Doctor's wellbeing. She had to keep reminding herself that as humans, they were fellow teachers and close friends, not mortal enemies with an endless and ongoing game of sardonic pride.

"No, sir, he's fine. Matron patched him up."

"Good, good," said the Master distractedly, already abandoning the conversation and making for the door Martha and Joan had just left. "I'd better look in on the poor chap. Falling down staircases, honestly!"

This last remark was muttered to himself as he knocked loudly on the Doctor's study door.

"Come in!" called the Doctor's voice, but before the Master could reach for the door handle, Martha caught him by the arm.

"He probably needs rest," she said quickly, ignoring his exclamation of surprise. "Maybe best not talk to him for too long, you know."

"I'm sure he will let me know if I am imposing upon him." The Master shook her hand away, glancing around. "Now, return to your duties, Martha. And for goodness' sake, learn some restraint!"

He twisted the handle, stepped inside and shut the door in her face. Martha let out a frustrated sigh as she turned and strode down the corridor.

She'd been trying her best to keep the Doctor and the Master away from each other for two months, and it was proving more and more difficult as the days went by.

The Doctor had explained the situation in a slight rush as he and the Master prepared the Chameleon Arch in the TARDIS - it felt like years ago now. While they were human, they would subconsciously block out events or conversations connected to their previous lives. However, since both Time Lords' minds were brimming with subdued memories, if they spent too long in each others' presence, little things would bleed through and they would both begin to realise that they were having exactly the same dreams. Even more likely, they might start reminiscing about their childhoods together, which would then lead to confusion and the questioning of what was real.

Luckily, the Doctor had quickly become infatuated with Nurse Redfern and didn't often go out of his way to converse with his fellow teacher, but the Master's human mind seemed to have retained his slight obsession with the Doctor (which he always denied the existence of), and took every opportunity to bump into him in the hallway have a chat. It had begun to worry Martha so much that she tended to prolong any conversation she had with him, in the hopes that he didn't wander off and find the Doctor again.

Biting her lip anxiously, Martha glanced over her shoulder at the study door, desperately hoping that the stupid idiots wouldn't trigger any memories that might result in their own deaths.

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><p>"Ah, Harry!" said John Smith, looking up from the mirror above his fireplace, where he'd been rearranging his spiky hair to hide a nasty lump on the back of his head. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"<p>

"I heard you fell down the stairs," said Harry, helping himself to a pear from the bowl on the table and leaning against the wall, grinning at John. "What happened, were you away with the fairies again?"

John scoffed, making a slight adjustment to his tie. "Don't be ridiculous." He sniffed in approval at his appearance, and then began tidying the mantlepiece. "I was lucky Matron was there to help. She really is a remarkable nurse."

Harry's grin widened at these words. "Pretty thing, too, isn't she?"

John made a valiant effort to look unconcerned. "I hadn't noticed."

Now it was Harry's turn to scoff. "Of _course_ you hadn't. Come along, John - we both know you've taken a fancy to her."

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about," muttered John, glancing absentmindedly at an untidy stack of papers as he ferried them over to a bookshelf.

Harry chuckled. "If you ask me, she's rather smitten with you, too. Are you bringing her to the village dance tomorrow?"

"That's hardly any of your business," said John irritably, fumbling with a dusty fob watch as he continued to rearrange the clutter on his mantlepiece. "I'm sure you'd be equally reticent about your feelings if, for example, I raised the subject of your fondness for Martha Jones."

John shot his friend a glance. His tone had turned the conversation around, a mischievous grin to match Harry's tugging at the corners of his mouth.

To his credit, Harry didn't blush - although his expression of casual indifference was even less convincing than John's had been.

"What on earth do you mean?" he asked coolly.

"Well..." said John, his tone light as he sniffed at a pile of extremely old letters. With an expression of mild disgust, he deposited them in the wastepaper bin and continued. "I have... noticed... that is to say, uh, you two often seem to be engaged in conversation in the corridors and such." He shot Harry a furtive glance. "I didn't know you enjoyed spending your time talking to servants."

"I don't - it's not-" Harry stuttered indignantly, "she talks to _me! _Every time I see her she wants to discuss some blasted thing or other! I keep telling her to remember her place, but she won't listen. If anything, John, _she's_ fond of _me_."

John smirked. "Well, perhaps she is. But you're far too indulgent when it comes to her, too. Never once reported her to the headmaster."

"Well, why should I?" said Harry, absentmindedly withdrawing a fob watch similar to John's from his inside pocket and rubbing the grime from its tarnished surface. "She's not _my _companion."

"I'm sorry?" said John, looking up distractedly from another pile of papers.

"Hm? What?" Harry looked confused. John wiggled an eyebrow at him.

"What did you say?"

"What? Nothing." Harry stowed the fob watch away, shaking his head as if to clear it. "I didn't say a word. Look John, I'd better go. My class starts in ten minutes." As he raised a hand in farewell and made for the door, it briefly struck John as rather odd that the man had not opened his watch, but still seemed to know, almost instinctively, what time it was.

But then Harry was striding past him and through the door, shutting it behind him with a loud click, leaving a bewildered silence in the study.

John looked after him, a slight frown creasing his forehead. He was still positive he'd heard Harry's words exactly, but he couldn't think why the other man had pointedly emphasised the sentance, almost making it sound as though Martha Jones was his, John's... companion? Even more troubling was the way he seemed not even to remember saying it.

Still puzzling on this, John turned back to the mantlepiece, examining himself in the mirror as he did so.

In his dreams, in the edges of his mind, scribbled hastily in his Journal that was perhaps even now being perused by Nurse Redfern, was a man called the Doctor.

The Doctor would have a companion, John Smith fancied. He seemed like the type.

Smiling to himself at the vivid images his latest dream had presented - this time, even Harry Saxon had made a brief appearance in them, although dressed nothing like his real-life self - John turned away from the mirror and crossed the room to his desk, where a fresh bottle of ink and white paper beckoned to him, along with a long and laborious letter to some high-collared authoritarian he'd been meaning to write for several days.

With a sigh, John seated himself at the desk and began writing, forcing his mind to concentrate on forming words, and not recalling fanciful daydreams involving blue boxes, monsters of metal and families of blood.

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><p>Rain drizzled down from the overcast sky, spattering both Martha, the Master and the TARDIS with wet drops. Martha shivered as one ran down the back of her neck, and huddled closer to the meagre shelter the big box provided, staring out at the rolling green hills with a sense of impatient sogginess.<p>

They had not spoken a word to each other since the two Time Lords had reverted to their normal selves. Martha would usually have been quite happy about this, but now that the Doctor had gone to talk to Nurse Redfern and left them alone together, she half wished he'd say something, if only to break the awkward silence.

When he didn't, she sighed and decided to do it herself.

"Erm, how are you feeling?" she asked.

The Master turned. From what she could see of his face beneath the low-pulled hood, he looked surprised. "Fine. Why?"

She shrugged. "I dunno. The whole rewriting-every-cell-in-your-body thing... I just assumed it would hurt when you turned back into Time Lords, too."

He sighed, leaning back against the TARDIS and then abruptly jerking away, apparently regretting his decision now that there was a large damp patch on the back of his hoodie. "It's different when we're reverting to our natural species," he explained. "The fob watch sort of... organises the DNA so it flows back in the right order. The Arch just strips it out any-old-how."

"Oh, right."

The silence stretched between them again. Rain continued to patter down, gradually soaking them both as a chilly mist began to draw in.

At last, Martha made out a solitary figure at the bottom of the field, walking up the hill towards them, trench coat flapping.

"Right then!" said the Doctor as he approached, hands deep in his pockets. "_Molto bene!_"

Martha half-smiled. "How was she?"

The Doctor paused for a second, then said, "Time we moved on."

"If you want, I could go and-" Martha started helpfully, but the Doctor gave her a meaningful look.

"Time we moved on," he repeated simply.

"Or perhaps I could-" the Master began with a grin, but this time the Doctor downright interrupted with a loud "NO!"

The Master sniggered softly under his breath, and seemed to withdraw back into his hoodie like a turtle.

There was a small pause, and then Martha cleared her throat.

"Er, meant to say," she said, addressing the Doctor. "Back there, last night, I-" she flourished her hands, blustering slightly, "I would've said _anything_ to get you to change!"

"Oh yeah, 'course you would, yeah!" said the Doctor, nodding stoutly.

"I mean, I wasn't really-"

"No, no no!"

"Good."

"Fine."

"So there we are then."

"There we are then, yes."

Martha nodded, slightly embarrassed, but glad the Doctor was able to brush the awkwardness off.

"And I never said," the Doctor added, "thanks for looking after us."

He smiled gratefully up at her from the slightly lower ground, the corners of his eyes crinkling in a way that reminded Martha of a kindly old man.

She smiled back at him, and he drew her into a bear hug.

The Master, seeming to guess what was about to happen, tried to step smartly away from them, but the Doctor caught hold of his arm and pulled him into the hug too.

"Doctor," the Master grumbled, "you know I can't stand hugging _you_, but now I have to hug the human as well?"

"Oi!" said Martha, elbowing him. "What's wrong with humans?"

"I could make you a list if you want," said the Master, his voice sour as the Doctor patted him chummily on the back. "I've just _been_ a human for several months."

"So?" grinned the Doctor.

"So, that was bad enough," the Master replied, twisting out of the hug at last and brushing himself off. "Disgusting creatures."

"I'm gonna miss you as a human," said the Doctor wistfully. "I swear you had more manners. _And _you got along with Martha, didn't you?"

This was evidently the wrong thing to say. The Master scowled and retreated into the depths of his hoodie again, muttering something incomprehensible and possibly threatening.

"Doctor!" called a voice from behind them. "Martha, Master."

They all turned to see Timothy picking his way up the hill behind them.

"Tim Timothy _Timbah_!" grinned the Doctor. At the same moment, the Master rolled his eyes, spun on his heel with a mutter of "Not _more_ humans!", and slammed the door of the TARDIS shut behind him.

Tim gave the Doctor and Martha questioning looks.

"Oh, don't mind him!" said the Doctor breezily. "He's just tetchy because he's discovered the remote possibility that he's capable of being _nice _to people."


End file.
